Attraction is the response of my inner energetic composition.
I am going to be attracted to my inner imprint of the masculine and feminine principle. Friends, relationships, work environments, my relationship with hierarchy and authority, colleagues — all of these will reflect certain experiences that respond to the beliefs and programs based on my early perceptions and developmental experiences.
The challenges in life are the calls of the universe to help us become aware of inner patterns that are not beneficial to our purpose. These challenges are projections of our inner world; however, until we become aware, we tend to believe it’s something external causing the damage: the evil eye, magic, bad luck, envy, or the hatred of others. While it’s true that all of these exist, we need to understand that they are, in essence, expressions of energetic imbalance — usually, a lack of balanced masculine energy.
It is the balanced masculine energy that provides psychic protection, stability, sustained progress, the ability to build and hold structure, and a sense of grounded confidence. When the masculine energy within us is broken, we lack the basic internal foundation to feel safe in our environment.
On the other hand, when our feminine is completely repressed, we experience a lack of empathy, narcissistic traits, despotic attitudes, aggressive competitiveness, and an inability to connect to intuition. Failure can result from blindly following the voice of the mind, which often leads us to selfish and egotistical solutions where we only seek our own benefit.
When things begin to go wrong, it’s a sign that the soul is being called to rebalance itself. Absolutely all negative traits can be traced back to unresolved issues with mother and father — our primary channels through which our inner energies were programmed. These negative traits can manifest as addictions, psychic imbalances, mental pathologies, and even in more subtle ways such as lack of stability, recurring scarcity, inability to access abundance, or the repeated failure to attract a suitable partner.
The call to evolve begins when the way we are programmed stops yielding the results we expect. At the end of the day, we all want certain things — but the way we pursue our dreams will depend on our inner programming, our personal values, and the choices we make.
For example, a woman raised in an environment with very polarized energies — where both masculine and feminine are in conflict or the feminine oppressed by the masculine — will often feel incapable of creating her own structure. She may struggle with discipline and balance when pursuing her dreams and develop a tendency to submit to the masculine in order to secure stability. These women often feel attracted to men who embody the archetype of the Sun: provider figures with a Saturnian influence of discipline, structure, and emotional restraint — men who repress their feelings and reject their inner feminine. This could be the way they manifest structure. Women with a weakened inner masculine energy and an exacerbated feminine energy may resort to manipulative techniques to get what they want, often by playing the victim. As a result, they might succeed in obtaining the structure they desire, but deep down, they feel incapable of achieving it on their own.
When a woman experiences the love and embrace of her father from an early age, she develops a healthy relationship with her inner masculine. She feels strong enough to build and sustain her own life projects. She also tends to establish healthier connections with men, based on equality rather than dependency.
In my observation, women who are able to sustain a life project and love the structure they’ve built for themselves tend to love themselves more easily. They suffer less from self-esteem issues, believe in their ability to manifest their dreams, and maintain stronger mental and energetic health. They are less vulnerable to psychic attacks and more grounded, making their dreams more attainable in the physical world.
In turn, the men they attract and feel compatible with are usually men who respect their own inner feminine. These are men who had a healthy relationship with their mothers — not one shaped by manipulation or emotional dependence. These men feel confident allowing a woman to shine as brightly as she wants, without interfering with her choices or diminishing her freedom.
Men who have a healthy integration of both their feminine and masculine energies are confident. They don’t need to hide or suppress women in order to feel superior. They know how to receive from their partners and support mutual encouragement. These men are in touch with their emotions and are not easily manipulated, unlike men with a distorted feminine energy, who tend to be overly ego-driven and therefore more vulnerable to manipulation. They can connect with their spirituality beyond just ritual — accessing symbolic language, empathy, and inner wisdom — and they have no need to parent, control, abuse, or diminish their partner.
In such a relationship, both partners become mutual support for one another. A woman who is loved and appreciated becomes a channel of abundance and growth. Her womb holds the energetic capacity to manifest opportunities for her partner, but this power is shaped by her hidden thoughts and feelings toward him.
There are many women today who could achieve success, yet struggle to find a compatible partner. Often, this is the result of an internal battle with the masculine — an unresolved wound stemming from a lack of masculine energy in early life or a history of abusive, extreme masculinity. Rather than developing a healthy feminine, they build a strong masculine façade as a defense, perpetuating a wounded dynamic with the masculine lineage.
Men who grow up in societies where women are energetically oppressed — confined to domestic roles and silenced — often feel drawn to women who are obedient rather than equal. These women essentially become mother-figures, not partners.
But there’s an interesting pattern I’ve noticed: in these societies, both women and men often prefer to have sons. Behind this desire, often hidden, is the hope of one day restoring the power of the feminine. The disempowered feminine finds ways to express itself — often through the children, particularly the boys, onto whom she projects her unexpressed energy.
In analyzing natal charts of women who dedicated their lives entirely to caretaking, I’ve noticed that many of them have powerful astrological placements that point to personal success. Since they couldn’t express this potential themselves, they unconsciously transmit it to their children — especially their sons — who become their energetic husbands. When these sons later marry, they struggle to give their wives their rightful place, because the mother remains the dominant influence. Unless the pattern is broken, history repeats. The wife then gives birth to sons, and creates the same energetic entanglement, forming a cycle of unconscious energetic incest that makes it impossible for the man to fully commit to his partner.
On the other extreme, we observe women who, in response to generational abuse, develop a strong masculine armor. But this isn’t a healthy feminine — it’s an imitation of masculine energy. These women tend to attract men with weak masculine energy, often shaped by a history of paternal abuse or distorted masculinity.
Regardless of the specific pattern or dynamic, which can manifest in many different ways depending on each individual’s story, the core message remains: we cannot balance masculine and feminine imbalances with more of the same.
If we try to counteract a narcissistic, emotionally unavailable masculine by embodying a distorted version of masculine energy ourselves, we might find success on the surface — financial independence, external achievements — but not balance in intimate relationships.
The solution to these diverse and complex dynamics is always the same: to balance the inner feminine and masculine within each of us.Men with excessive, distorted masculine energy need to integrate a healthy masculine in order to give room for the inner feminine to express.
Women with excessive, distorted feminine energy need to restore the original nature of the feminine and let the inner masculine flourish — not by becoming apparently masculine, competing or raising barriers against men, but by healing and embodying the sacred feminine essence.
The Circle of Hanik 