And if you identify as a giver… how much giving is too much? Where is the limit?
In the human experience, we often encounter two strong energetic poles: givers and takers. Between these extremes, we find people with more balance—but most of us, at some point, swing between the two. Often, these dynamics aren’t personality traits, but trauma responses.
The Energetics Behind Giving and Taking
Givers often want to please others, hold them close, or feel valuable through their efforts. Sometimes, without realizing it, they may create codependency. Their giving comes not from overflow, but from a need to be needed.
Takers, on the other hand, may have grown up feeling deprived—emotionally, physically, or energetically. As adults, they respond to life by absorbing, extracting, and claiming what they can, often offering very little in return. They are drawn to relationships that feed their survival mechanisms.
Both givers and takers may appear very different on the surface, but at their core, they share a wounded self-esteem:
- Givers often feel “not enough,” and compensate by overextending.
- Takers often feel “not safe,” and compensate by dominating or manipulating.
Each hides behind something—whether it’s service, charm, talent, beauty, or success.
The Sacred Law of Reciprocity
In nature and in spirit, everything flows in cycles. Life is meant to be a dance of giving and receiving. This is echoed in the Tarot:
- The Star (XVII) pours generously, symbolizing divine giving.
- The Moon (XVIII) reflects inner tides, showing how we receive and mirror life.
Giving is an expression of the masculine energy—active, outward, initiating.
Receiving is an expression of the feminine energy—open, inward, receptive.
When these polarities are unbalanced—too much giving, or refusal to receive—we disconnect from our natural rhythm. Balance lies in reciprocity, where energy flows in both directions.
Your Relationships Are Mirrors
Every relationship—whether at work, in love, or within the family—is a mirror.
It reflects your energetic pattern in giving and receiving.
Overgivers tend to attract those who are undergiving. Why? Because the soul is always guiding us to see ourselves clearly.
The discomfort, the dissatisfaction, the burnout—these are messages.
We feel “comfortable” in what’s familiar, even if it’s harmful. But eventually, the heart calls for balance. That’s when awareness begins to grow, and change becomes possible.
When Awareness Arises
Many people come to therapy, energy work, or inner practices because they feel exhausted from giving, or shut down from receiving.
And often, they ask:
“If I’m learning from this relationship, does that mean I should stay?”
My response: Why is the question still centered on the other person?
You don’t stay in school forever just because the teacher was good. Once you’ve learned the lesson, you graduate.
When a dynamic no longer nourishes your soul, it’s not about judging the other—it’s about recognizing your growth and honoring your inner truth. That shift in frequency is your cue to evolve, to move, to release.
Shifting Patterns Takes Time—But Awareness Is Everything
Leaving unbalanced dynamics isn’t always instant. Social obligations, economic factors, or emotional bonds can make change slow. But the work begins with awareness.
Ask yourself:
- Who is this person in front of me, really?
- What is this relationship showing me?
- What within me is still bonded to this dynamic?
Even if you’re not ready to exit the situation, being conscious allows you to start protecting your energy, rewriting the script, and preparing to shift.
Because true liberation is not only external—it begins within. When you see the pattern and know you no longer want to carry it, the process of change has already started.
Closing Reflection
You don’t need to judge yourself for giving too much or for shutting down. These were survival strategies—once necessary. But now, you’re being invited into a more authentic exchange with life.
Your relationships will continue to reveal your inner terrain. Use them as sacred mirrors. Honor the lessons. And when it’s time, walk away with grace—because you’re no longer who you were when you began.
The Circle of Hanik 