The origin of the energetic mess we face as women and men in our roles within a connection comes from the necessity of coping with toxicity and dysfunctional relationships due to our historical lack of consciousness. Survival was our mode, and in survival, we had to pause our true nature, interfering with it through mental dissonance. We needed to justify abuse and abandonment, and we could not afford separation. It was a matter of hunger, death, wars, and invasions. We could not allow ourselves to be authentic, clear, and real. We developed an incredible capacity to survive by justifying the unjustifiable.
We are not weak; we are simply well-trained to survive. But today, when most women reading this post have moved beyond survival, it is time to reprogram our nervous systems back to our natural essence.
We must first understand the clear differences between men and women. Even though we both carry masculine and feminine energies, generally, women are more aligned with feminine energy, while men align with masculine energy. Masculine energy has the ability to move on, to leave the tribe and the core in order to hunt and provide. This made the masculine brain compartmentalize, which is why a man, no matter how in love, can be fully absorbed in watching his favorite football match without distraction.
Meanwhile, women, who give birth and need to protect their babies and creations, developed vigilance that goes beyond entertainment. Our capacity for love is nurturing and healing, but it can also become drowning when given in an unbalanced manner. Especially if the program that ruled our ancestors was marriage as a means of survival, where maintaining the union became the priority and the life mission of a woman.
Our heart and womb hold the secret to this capacity. When our womb is activated, our heart emanates a vibration of love that covers, embraces, and heals the receiver. We activate our psychic abilities and can sense what others feel, knowing what they need and entering a symbiotic union. However, it is crucial to control the outlet of our energy by differentiating what belongs to us and what belongs to others. This allows us to hold a safe space of containment rather than dissolving into emotional fusion, which can transform the relationship into a toxic dynamic, disrupting the balance between two equals who are meant to complement, not overshadow, each other.
When we give from a place of needing to mother, it creates an energetic imbalance that can feel humiliating for the man, making him feel he is not good enough because he cannot reciprocate in the same way. This can lead to feelings of worthlessness within him. We then punish him with an inner arrogance, feeling superior for “giving more” while blaming him for not being able to handle our excess energy, which eventually pushes him away as he feels exhausted and pressured.
On the other hand, when a woman seeks a father figure in her partner, she cannot offer true containment; she is unconsciously seeking the love she lacked as a child. She cannot embody her inner woman within sexuality, instead using sex as a way to seek love and reassurance. She does not magnetize this man through authentic sensuality but triggers his need to feel needed by offering protection, often falling into patterns of abuse and coercion that keep her in the role of an eternal child. Her sexual development remains limited, pleasure often unexplored, because true pleasure requires two adults relating from a place of energetic independence.
In both cases, these imbalances prevent the couple from meeting at the same energetic level, affecting their sexual connection. Holding a position of superiority or inferiority creates a dynamic of emotional incest that deeply impacts the sexual union, making it difficult to experience mutual pleasure. Unconsciously, we may feel as if we are sleeping with a parent or a child, causing sexuality to become secondary within the relationship.
It is important to be clear: the foundation of a romantic relationship is the sexual connection. This is what distinguishes it from all other forms of love, and when this foundation is unbalanced, the relationship itself becomes unbalanced.
Trauma hinders our natural development and authentic expression, affecting us physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically.
The type of people we are attracted to reflects our energetic programming. Healing is not a switch we flip; it is a neurological reprogramming that rebalances our nervous system through various, non-linear methods. During this process, the people we attract—and are attracted to—begin to change. Therefore, the objective should never be to obtain a specific connection with a particular person but to trust the process of the universe, knowing that it will align us with who we need at every moment for our growth, whether together or apart. What matters is the present moment.
This is the secret of womb activation: presence. It is the space where there is no strategy for the future, no longing for the past, no fear of the unknown, and no guilt or shame for what has been. Presence carries no expectations or plans; it embraces the now. In presence, we navigate through intuition and the complete trust that we are sustained by the Divine. This is the feminine energy within us all, men and women alike. Feminine energy recognizes something greater than ourselves, as it operates directly from the soul and sees Divinity in all that is.
Activating this energy happens through healing, by crossing through our shadow—everything we have denied in ourselves because we believed it did not fit the “ideal human” image. The shadow prevents us from authenticity, and this inauthenticity prevents us from activating our feminine energy, which is pure authenticity.
Authenticity means embracing who we are today, with our current process, our ups and downs, and our evolving reality. Respecting our inner process and present vibration allows us to embrace ourselves as we are, activating a magnetism that can only emerge when we are genuinely in love with ourselves—not a false self-image created by the ego or an idealized version, but love for our real, lived reality.
This is when a woman becomes truly desired by those who are emotionally mature and capable of receiving such a divine gift in their lives. A present woman with an active womb does not only create babies; she gives life to projects and dreams, precipitating their manifestation on Earth.
In the equation of a relationship, the key factor is giving full attention to one’s personal development—not as a tactic to maintain the other’s interest, but as a permanent way of self-nurturing. It is understanding that no one else can bring you the satisfaction that you can bring to yourself, because you are the one living in your body, the only one enjoying your own gifts and talents, and you are therefore the only one responsible for your life project. This shift in pattern is so different from the survival mode, where men were the center of a woman’s attention, naturally activates a woman’s magnetism within the relationship.
A woman focused on her life project and self-development turns on her womb energy, her lunar gifts, her sensuality, and her magnetism, attracting a person who is ready to stay—not to become the center of her life, but to walk alongside her, enjoying her company while she develops her mission, as he develops his.
The Circle of Hanik 