Before we explore the inner architecture of every human being, we must first understand a fundamental truth: we each carry an inner masculine and an inner feminine energy. Until these energies align, we will not find someone outside of us who truly matches us. Without that inner harmony, we move from relationship to relationship, situationship to situationship—ship to ship—trying to fit into places that aren’t symmetrical. It feels like wearing the wrong shoe size: uncomfortable, unbalanced, and often leading to long stretches of loneliness or cycles of toxic relationships.
The hunger we feel for a relationship comes from the lack of nurturing we give to the very part of ourselves we seek outside. Why? Because we come from fragmentation—trained to live in only one gender expression (or none at all)—always searching for the missing opposite energy outside of us. But union begins within. The alchemical marriage starts with the conscious choice to harmonize the feminine and masculine within ourselves.
This balance is not always 50/50 or even 60/40. The ratio is unique for each person, shaped by their own energetic blueprint. Tools like numerology and astrology can help us understand how our inner energies operate.
Before focusing on what we need from a partner, there are three essential steps:
- Release socially imitated standards so the soul can speak its true desires.
- Examine family patterns, as they form our initial relationship blueprint.
- Revisit our personal love biography to understand how our own experiences have shaped us.
Historically, humanity moved through different energetic eras. First came the era of Isis—the matriarchal age, when we were nurtured by the Earth, connected to the maternal feminine, and learning survival through her embrace. Then came the era of Osiris—the patriarchal age, when humanity matured into its “teen years,” learning obedience, structure, and the law of cause and effect. Now, in the Age of Aquarius, we are entering the era of Horus: the sacred child born from the union of Mother and Father. This is the true alchemy of marriage—a union that happens in the heart, activating the fourth chakra, where feminine and masculine find balance.
Our recent history has been ruled by the mind, and before that, by the body. In the masculine era, we became strategists—masters of seduction, control, and manipulation to achieve an aim. We didn’t use the heart; we used the mind. When people say, “Use your heart, not your mind,” they often confuse the heart with lower passions or instincts. True heart energy holds no manipulation and no illusion. You can use mental strategy to make someone marry you, but you cannot make them truly ready for love.
You know you’re in the wrong connection when you have to force it. Working hard on something that isn’t aligned only breeds dissatisfaction.
The mind might insist, “This is the right partner,” but that is usually based on social conditioning. True love emerges from the meeting of two souls, not two egos. The ego-based connection is an adaptation—two shells learning to coexist. A soul union is a full fusion: one essence in two bodies.
Where there is true fulfillment, infidelity cannot exist. Where there is genuine satisfaction, there is no need for power games or mental strategies. True love is like a nourishing meal: once fed, you need no more—you are deeply satisfied.
To connect with this kind of love, we must let go of societal standards and trust that the one meant for us will meet us on all levels—mental, physical, intellectual, social, emotional, and above all, spiritual.
The journey of healing—truly a journey of remembering who we are—aligns our inner energies. As we recalibrate, we may meet people who feel like “the one,” yet as we evolve, trial and error quickens. Our outer reality reflects our inner transformation. We begin to attract those who mirror our evolving inner masculine or feminine.
Many people today feel insecure about not marrying young. Yet in truth, later is often better. With maturity comes wisdom, karmic healing, and readiness for a healthy union. We are no longer in survival times, when marriage was urgent for tribe-building. We are in a time of ascension, where the purpose of union is not mere companionship, but the elevation of consciousness itself.
Our karma, trauma, and family patterns are like stones in our shoes. They can convince us that our “authenticity” is just the personality shaped by wounds. Real authenticity is found in the soul.
In survival mode, we adapted our minds to tolerate the intolerable. Today, with greater awareness, we can become self-sustaining. Wholeness attracts wholeness. Until we reach that point, we will keep attracting from wounds, fears, and defenses—barriers that block true connection.
Authentic relationships are not about performance; they are about two people living as their truest selves. The more we embody authenticity, the more it filters out those misaligned with our frequency. Yes, this can bring loneliness—but that solitude reconnects us with ourselves. Through it, we stop wasting time on those who aren’t truly for us. Self-love becomes our compass.
A person who refuses to see themselves will never truly see you. When you see yourself—when the radiant light of your heart shines through—you will no longer belong in spaces of devaluation. In self-love, you can no longer settle for a partner who does not know themselves, or who cannot truly know you.
We are emerging from a mindset of scarcity, where we rushed and competed for life to “happen.” In truth, we have been sitting in a crystal cage in the middle of an ocean—seeing the water but unable to feel it. That crystal cage is our mental structure, our paradigms, our ego. Once it shatters, we merge with the ocean of infinite love and abundance.
Love will still bring pain. Pain and love are the same energy in opposite polarities. But pain is a teacher—it signals expansion. As we grow, the old ego “dress” no longer fits. We must alter it, stretch it, change it to keep evolving in this world of contraction.
The feminine represents the body; the masculine, the mind. How you treat your body and mind—whether through excess or neglect—shapes your relationship with your inner energies. A healthy mind and a cared-for body create new, healthier standards for relationships. Stress, anxiety, and overthinking show an imbalanced masculine. Neglect, over-attachment to appearance, or disconnection from the body point to imbalance in the feminine. Rebalancing these is the foundation of healthy connections.
It begins in stillness—in your own silence, in your own space—listening to your body, your soul, your intuition.
Is it essential to be with someone? That question can trigger codependency—seeking outside the love we have not yet given ourselves. Partnership is part of our human design and can help fulfill our purpose—but it is not for everyone. The danger lies in seeking from need and scarcity, which leaves us vulnerable to abuse, betrayal, and self-abandonment.
Yet it is a sacred gift from the Creator to meet the right soul partner in this lifetime.
Happy Lion’s Gate and Soul Mate Day.
The Circle of Hanik 