This is a story that deserves to be told because it is the story of real love. Everything started some years ago, when I set the intention of learning how to love in an altruistic way. We come to this earth to learn altruism — to give and receive from an altruistic place.
When I placed that intention, I was moved by the need to evolve human interaction, to shift from my second chakra to my heart. A series of things began to fall apart as I remembered that we are here to give and take with love. Love — the only force that truly exists. The force with the capacity to unify all particles and turn them into one. The power of God. The real essence of God. Love is Oneness and Unity.
So all my relationships began to fall apart because I no longer resonated with selfishness. When I started vibrating higher, I no longer found any point of attachment between those around and me. In the process of searching for myself on a different level of frequency, life fell apart. I start seeing reality with a new, clearer perspective.
It is disappointing to discover that people are not what we thought. But the truth is, they are what they are. It is our inner frequency that allows us to see different faces of people because our frequency determines what we perceive and at what level. In a selfish frequency we want more density, more matter, more appearance. We care about names, money, comfort. None of these are inherently negative. It’s just that when we start resonating with love, we begin to desire essence — and essence is something a selfish person cannot connect with. A selfish person cannot see the essence of a loving one because they cannot see their own essence.
Selfishness is self-absorption into the ego. The ego is our identity on earth. A selfish person doesn’t care who they are inside; they care about what they have and what they can get. The ego is a false identity without its own life; it feeds on external energy. Essentially, selfishness is the attitude of not giving anything if there is no external reward. The selfish always calculate what they will get in return for their investment — and they translate that into their emotional lives, of course.
There is nothing a selfish person resents more than an altruistic person. Altruism, on the other hand, is a clear understanding that we are who we are — and that what we are is abundant, constant, permanent, regardless of external changes. Whether there are gains or losses in the material world, the altruistic person does not lose their essence.
People often limit the understanding of altruism and selfishness to the capacity to give and receive materially. Therefore, some selfish people consider themselves generous. However, the key question is: Am I expecting something in return for my display of generosity?
An altruistic nature, on the other hand, does not necessarily mean giving without measure. Sometimes not giving is also giving, because the altruist evaluates whether what they are giving is healthy, needed, fair, balanced — whether it harms themselves or the other. True altruism doesn’t need to prove itself as generous; it walks with clean intention and mental clarity.
The selfish person minds their appearance in front of others, their image. The altruist minds their intention and the wellbeing of all parties, starting with their own wellbeing. This is the paradox of true altruism: it is not about degrading yourself for the sake of another; it is about preserving your own wellbeing first. The first receiver of love is oneself. Hurting yourself in the pursuit of another’s happiness is selfishness, because behind it there is a silent dialogue of transaction.
In the end, self-destruction in the name of the other is a silent claim for the other to take care of you because of what you have given in excess. Real love is based on self-love. Self-love is natural to the altruist because they remember where they come from, what they are in essence, and they reclaim the authority and responsibility they have toward themselves as a fragment of the Divine.
The nodal return is a vital point of remembering who we are, and it often happens through crisis if our memory is numb. When I experienced my nodal return — the process of returning to my essence, of maintaining my individuality while relating to others in balance,— the test arrived perfectly synchronized with my astrological chart.
A traveler through time and dimensions came to be a master of Love and Redemption. Through this test I was in the company of my beloved interdimensional twin, whose astrological Sun aligns with my North Node and Moon.
The Master of Love arrived with a very particular character role: A great ancient soul dressed in a mentally sick, depressed, addicted avatar with only a vague memory of who he was, without the grounding or environment to thrive. A person who had given up on life, who asked every day for death, who had no strength to fight for his purpose in this reality; mentally blocked, full of arrogance and stubbornness — a person who awakened inside me the most noble feelings I have ever experienced. Because in that mystic journey, I saw for first time the essence of a person, the soul.
The first mystical experience I had was an opening of my heart. It felt like two hands were opening my chest cavity. A strong pulsation — not painful, but not necessarily comfortable — began emanating every time we spoke. My Soul sister and I began a process of cleansing. Through our remembered spiritual tools, the power of channeling increased within me. I was by then, a master in Reiki and different energetic techniques, however, I felt an initiation that wasn’t theoretical.
They literally showed me how to cleanse, how to liberate him. What we were fighting with was greater than we thought: black magic of a high level of danger, he was a person offered to Death. We fought against hidden forces, traveling through dreams and high states of meditation where masters and guides showed us how to work.
One day I had a clear vision of an entity, taller than 2.5 meters, entering my room through the window and hiding in the closet. I thought it was my imagination. A few days later my spiritual sister, at a distance, saw the entity, and we called it out. The only thing that came to me was to emanate that frequency of love activated in my heart. The entity left, and my sister channeled it, telling her that it had never known that sensation we humans call love— that it had been created to harm, not to love, not to feel, only to follow orders.
We began a process of shamanic healing to remove from him the black magic. The practitioner from the Tribe of Arahuacos in Colombia was astonished at how we could sustain such a powerful channel to do the cleansing he needed through me rather than directly. My body and my house served as a portal, bringing an invasion of cockroaches — very common during deep cleansing work.
They were dark months, dealing with the hardest truths of reality. Every meditation, every vision, every dream, every exchange of words — and my sensation of total unconditionality grew stronger. Could I really reach the point of loving the unlovable? The answer was an absolute yes.
Months of constant work passed. We held conversations where he entered states of psychosis or irrational speech and fantasy. I worked with a quantum doctor simultaneously with the shamans of Colombia to compare opinions. They reached the same conclusions: forty hidden entities absorbing his ectoplasm. He was living hell on earth. My profound sadness came from feeling incapable of sharing a happy moment with him, except for occasional jokes, good music, intellectually stimulating talks with voice notes of 30 minutes — until he sank back into depression and disappeared for weeks, leaving me with a profound void.
He couldn’t regulate himself, couldn’t hold himself; therefore I couldn’t be sustained by him. It was me sustaining myself and sustaining him, while wanting so badly for him to be healthy. Through hard lessons and disappointments I understood that some people simply choose to remain in the state they are in.
He could only receive from us a small percentage of what we could give, of what I was willing to give. Loving is accepting when someone cannot take more, no matter how much you are willing to give. Their capacity is the limit, and giving more breaks their freedom of will, their dignity, and their self-esteem. Loving is also accepting when someone chooses not to receive any more.
And that is what happened. I wanted to give presence, love, company, healing. I was willing to fight the world for him. He did not want that from me. He wanted my friendship, my companionship. And in his immense wisdom behind all the issues he carried — depression, probably bipolar syndrome, profound trauma, emotional pain, magic, entities — behind all of that was an immense soul that chose, by Divine contract, to experience that reality and taught me through a hard lesson the importance of respecting people’s boundaries and limits, even when you think what you have to offer is better than what they have.
He ended up withdrawing and precipitating discussions in which he clearly rejected me so I would know I had to walk away. Loving was accepting when someone was done. It was accepting when someone does not want you to be part of their life, when they do not have the enthusiasm for life to make the effort.
We call it selfishness. Today I know people have their own call, and their call and experience are what they choose — hell or heaven. It is valid, precious, worthy of respect. It is imperative for us to respect the freedom of will of every single human being.
In the end, I understood that love wasn’t about giving it all. It was about accepting when someone doesn’t want more — when they don’t want anything, maybe. It is loving them in their freedom of saying no.
Recovering from his farewell took time. Yet during that time, I learned profound things. For example, I learned how to extend the same love to all my family, to my clients, to all my friends, to all my acquaintances — because love is not exclusive; love is inclusive. My psychic capacities heightened, my ability to help others who sought support in their healing process increased, and my empathy expanded to the point of feeling exactly what another person felt. I learned to see the ego clearly and, beyond that hard shell, to recognize the soul in those who possess one. I realized that the best tribute to him was to love others as deeply as I had loved him.
It was a spiritual, mystical love. It was not physical, not sexual, not romantic. It was a pure soul connection — one that gave nothing and everything at the same time. It did not offer me the satisfaction of a conventional relationship or a shared life plan, yet it gave me who I am today. Isn’t that a greater gift than what we usually expect from our beloved?
The little human within us expects tangible things in the name of love. But love is so generous that it gives us more than that: it gives us the capacity to know ourselves, our true abilities, our essence, our divinity. It helps us see life with the eyes of the soul and enjoy this journey of self-discovery. Love transforms our interaction with the world; it breaks the walls of the ego and the mental structures; it enhances our extrasensory abilities. Love leads us to self-love — the ultimate encounter our soul’s desire.
There are life experiences that have no name and deserve to remain unnamed, because those are the experiences of divine beings walking on Earth.
The Circle of Hanik 